Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Am I a Wide-Eyed Idealist? As in...not the "oh she's so good, look at her, what a SAINT!" I mean..."dumbass, you can't save the world" type.

For a little while now, I've figured 2010 is the year life decided to bitch-slap me and a few people I know. We could do much worst. We could be stuck in Darfur in the middle of a holocaust. We could be on the streets, panhandling and sleeping in the back of strip clubs. But though I'm living a perfect life by comparison, the kids I know are living lives that might as well have been copied down from a really bad fanfiction.

This guy and I broke up a while back, and I have soon discovered it didn't even NEED to happen. But it did...

There's a girl, let's trouble. Badly. At the moment, she feels almost like a kid stuck in an after school special. My friend doesn't believe her. She could be lying. But I've chosen to believe her. And so has Shadow. She has told us each separate secrets that we told each other so we could figure something out.

But things are going downhill. I being stupid? Emily's right. I can't be Atlas. I'm not strong, fast, smart, or even have connections. I'm quoting Kickass here when I say like most people my age, I just exist. And it's selfish, because I want to do something so I won't stay empty and without purpose. I've always hated bystanders, in both fiction and real life, but what can I do?

Not only is it truly stupid to even consider it, I'm being more of an idiot thinking I can actually do anything. So I'll have to plan. I'll have to do more than just speaking...and at the same time, I can't put myself in danger. Which I mean...this isn't a story. If I do something stupid, the power of Good isn't going to help me. In the least. First I have to know if I'm even going to do anything good. If I'm not just damaging her situation more.

What confused me the most was what some of us can say. We can speak with such criticism of the world and make ourselves appear like we understand more than selfish idiots but...

If we don't want to do anything, are we being a selfish asshole? Or are we being realistic and smart?

Who knows by this point. Maybe I'm just being an idiot.

Not like there's anything I can do till I get more information.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

On Gay Marriage

So today...interesting college class >.>

For homework last week, I had to read two articles and answer questions about them. The articles were called "Adam and Steve - Together at Last" and "A Case Against Marriage."

Both articles were actually very well written, especially "A Case Against Marriage" because it didn't bail out and use the common "IT'S AGAINST GOD!" argument. In fact, the writer argued against such a thing.

So today in my English class, our teacher asked us who was against gay marriage. She wrote down the names, and then divided us into groups. Each group had 6 people, 3 for gay marriage, and 3 against. But here's the thing...she wrote down names of those that were against, and put them pro....and vise versa.

Now I got lucky. I actually got put in pro and was beaming and laughing in Silvia's face because she got put in against and we're both pro-gay marriage. But as soon as we were suppose to be getting in our groups, I remembered Carla, who's been sort of my math-buddy and has given me a lot of advice. She's pro...and gay.

Guess what view point she had to argue for?

As I passed her, I saw she was pale, but I went to sit down either way, even as she mumbled "against" when I asked her what side she got put on. In my group, my two partners were against, and they had no idea what to argue for. Me? I was jotting down ideas in two seconds flat.

Then I hear them talking. "What's wrong with Carla?" one of them asks, I turn around and see her. She's standing by the teacher's desk, her face is red, and she's crying.

Carla has already told me that gay marriage is sort of a very emotional issue for her, but to have her argue for the opposing side? It was killing her, and I could see it. Carla's gone through a lot of shit, and her sexuality isn't really the main cause of all her problems.

So I hear my name getting called from the teacher's side. My effing foot gets stuck in the side of the chair, but I jump up and run there. They tell me to switch sides and take Carla's place so she can argue for yes. I'm nodding and saying, "Yeah, sure, yeah, it's okay, Carla. You can go there, so yeah, yeah,"

(That's how I talk >.>)

So anyways, now, Silvia can laugh in my face because me and her are stuck in Against Gay Marriage. Thing was, she wasn't in my group, but me and her were standing there with Jennifer just trying to think of argument points. Jen is in debate, so she used that to her advantage. Describe the term, and start with bullet points on that.

We knew everyone was going to use the against religion/affects children/should be private, not public/etc argument points. Since they're such bullshitty arguments (not to mention really easy to shoot down) we had to think of something else.

We went to the approach of "We're not against gays, just don't marry."

It's what I said anyways. I said that they could do what they wanted, whether public or private. Jen came up with another point, and it became our main arguing point. They can have all the benefits of marriage when together, and in fact, they could have an institution were they are joined legally for the benefits. Yet in the eyes of the church and state, the gays wouldn't be married.

And when we presented our case (especially when we said this had nothing to do with the church, and how we didn't care what gays did) the rest of the group just started blinking...a lot. One of the seniors couldn't even figure out if we were going on the for or against.

The way Jen was speaking, it was almost believable, simply because she's charismatic like that. just didn't make sense.

I mean, it's so stupid. Being in the argument made me realize that there's just no possible way to argue against gay marriage. And I was trying. Honest to god trying to figure it out. Not because I'm against gay marriage, but because I wanted to win the argument (that's just the type of person I am...)

But I couldn't.
  • You can't argue with religion, because just as the bible has some good ideas, it has stupid as hell rules, some--no, most even downright inhumane.
  • You can't say the nation was founded with Christian values, because not all the Founding Fathers were Christian. Besides, separation of church and state anyone?
  • You can't say it would affect children, because not only is there no actual research that proves such a thing, with that point of view, then everyone should be straight, because almost nobody has gay parents (so really, explain how gay kids come out of families with straight parents?). 
  • You can't say it's because marriage is about having children, because it's not like infertile people are denied marriage. 
  • You can't say people would marry as gays to gain the benefits, because you don't need gay marriage for people to attempt to trick the state; they can do that with regular marriage. 
  • You can't say it would make others uncomfortable, because as Kimberly (a classmate) mentioned, she hates it when people bite their nails. That doesn't mean there should be a law against it. Are we really so egotistical and selfish that we're suppose to scream "ME! ME! ME! I DON'T WANT TO SEE GAY PEOPLE!" and deny the rights to a human being?
  • You can't say children who are adopted will be bullied in school for having gay parents, because that's like taking the bullies side. You're technically telling the bullies that they're right and should bully anyone who's gay or has gay guardians because it's "wrong."
  • You can't say you're protecting the gay, because pulling a double standard and denying them rights does not in any way make it good. Just like the bully example, you're as right as the ones trying to cause physical harm on someone that's homosexual.
  • You can't say it would damage tradition, because tradition has been damaged plenty of times (arranged marriages are uncommon, blacks and whites can marry now, etc.)
  • You can't say marriage is purely about religion, because that's bullshit. As mentioned in "Adam and Steve - Together At Last" even if you marry in a church, you still need to go to city hall and get the effing paper.
And that's There's just no logical reason for against. I'm wondering how it's even possible to still fight against the issue and not let gay people marry.

I should also mention Carla argued with such passion when it was her turn O.o it was very epic of course, but it looked like she was about to start decapitating some heads xD.

On other news, I got a 92 on my Midterm for the college class. It was good BUT I STILL HAVE TO BEAT SILVIA AND RAUL!

And I day >:D


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Have to study more...

Yeah, I failed a bio test...

No complaining. No making excuses. I'm just gonna go study for my psychology quiz tomorrow and my English test on Friday. I've been studying most of the afternoon anyways and I'll keep studying tomorrow. Then on Friday, after school, I'll read chapter 3 from my biology text book and then do carnegie.

Although....I'll be RPing.


On other news, I finally got to see the first Star Trek movie. I'd seen a few episodes from the series, some others from the Next Generation, and the new movie that came out last year, but this one was AWESOME! It was better than everything else. And it proved to me that I don't need to write a space marine in a story for it to be interesting. Because I mean...great science fiction writers manage and I've never really figured out how. But for whatever reason, the movie somehow made me find a path for such a thing.

Also, just to exemplify how much a space nerd I am, in the movie, when Kirk finally gets to see the Enterprise after so many years, there's like 10 minutes of epic music and Kirk going all teary eye.

Me and my dad: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, it's THE ENTERPRISE! AND IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A PIZZA CUTTER!

Brother and mom: ...okay....5 minutes have passed....still the same shot.

Yeah, I'm lame xD. But I figured that was also the audiences reaction when watching the movie when it first came out. Also, I think it's because of that movie that McCoy is now officially my favorite character. I don't know why he had a jesus beard while wearing a disco outfit (who knows he's been doing these past years?) but I adored his sense of humor.

I guess today we'll be watching Wrath of Khan.

Yeah, you all saw that coming.

Also, I've been RPing again and got to bring back some much missed characters I made a while ago. I edited this picture that shows the faces of my characters (now as long as it doesn't get me in legal trouble xD...)
Dream, Legion, Archangel, and Dragon (-hint, hint, bible references :D)

So yeah. Off to study. Then Star Trek movie. Then RPing. I can honestly say everything's calm right now.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Halo: Reach

Just FYI, I haven't played the game yet since I made a deal with my brother a long time ago in regards to something else that costed me my first playthrough of Halo: Reach. But that's not what I'm writing about ^^

It's just that last night, my brother and dad went to the local midnight release of Halo: Reach. I had to stay and sleep because I had a quiz today, but I really wanted to go. Midnight releases are those things I constantly hear about and always want to go to, but never get the chance. I was glad at least my brother and dad were going though.

My dad took the camera so he could record and take pictures, but they went like at 11:30 p.m and the lines were short and there was almost no people. Not only that, but damn, was it a disappointment. Each and every single person was wearing black and standing completely still and silent in the line. What, don't tell me you were trying to blend away? Come on, people! If you're gonna go to a midnight release of a game, then at least show some enthusiasm Dx It was like just my little brother and father were excited about the game. If you're not willing to show how proud you are to buy a video game at midnight of a weeknight and be a nerd, then...well why would you go to a midnight release? O.o

As far as I know, other places were full of screaming fans. In fact the best place to go to for the release was probably at Redmond Town Center in Washington since the Bungie team was there seeing as how this is their final game.

Maybe it's just Miami that has epic fail fans? Or just that ONE Best Buy? Bleh, another reason to move to a more populated and joyful city. But sigh. It would have been so great to be there.

Anyways, I'm so happy I got the game! I woke up this morning and the package was right there, in front of the TV. It made me think of Christmas morning when the presents are right there under the tree, magically having appeared in just one night.

It took me and my brother about a half-year to save up for it, since I started saving right after I bought Mass Effect 2 (which I think also took me a half-year to save up for) and so my dad put in a few more money in so we could buy the version with Dr. Halsey's diary. I started reading it this morning before going to school and I love it so far! Half the time I don't even know what it is that she's explaining, but I adore it anyways. I'll have to google in a bunch of the terms though xD.

(And yes, I took the pictures. That's why they're not perfectly lined or anything xD. Next time, I'm asking my dad to do it :P)
~ Becky

P.S: I've been sort of obsessed with the song Pure Imagination, and yesterday, I found a really good cover for it. I know it must be odd to shift from Halo: Reach to Willy Wonka, but bleh, I can't help adding it here :D

(Says she has a new version, but I'll just post this one for now)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

My Writing...

I'll admit, I'm not the greatest young writer ever. I still have a LOT to learn, and I usually welcome criticism. But nothing hurts more...than two C's and a D in your college ENC-1101 class because you:
  • Can't organize for shiz.
  • Have terrible sentence structure
AUGH! I should have known. I should have effing known! Even despite turning down most of the compliments I get, somewhere in my head, I've still gotten used to people telling me I'm a good writer. Somewhere in my frakking head I've gone "aw hell yeah, I'm a great writer" but as it turns out...I'm half-decent, or maybe worst >_<

Yeah, this is terrible. I've survived through school's English classes on talent and luck alone. There is no freaking way I can do it for this college class or the next classes I get. And...dammit, I call myself a writer, and yet when I saw those grades and the notes my professor put, my eye started twitching and I got so blank. I passed out in my bed so I wouldn't have some sort of mental breakdown again.

Yeah, I'm an idiot. But ugh, I have to get better. Have to stop procrastinating.
On another note, it's my father's birthday, and right now, he's reading a looooooooooong letter written by one of his past friends on gmail. Both him and my dad are photographers apparently, among other things. Gha! It's so unfair. No one should ever be good at so many things unless they are Leonardo da Vinci.

Okay, okay, I'm done whinnying...for today Dx but really, both him and my dad have some sort of natural talent for photographs. One of them had the picture of some random house back in Ecuador. I think that's what most Latin American countries have in common, and what they differ from the U.S houses I've seen. After all, the houses are always different, mostly because people build and paint them themselves. Here, everything is just cookie cutter places. It's hard to really distinguish anything.


P.S: I wonder why I avoided writing the actual curse word here????

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I really SHOULD continue writing First Impressions

So a few weeks back...or well, months back in summer I decided to start writing a script for a reconstruction of american high school movies and shows. So we've got the common-average new girl, Amy, the tough jock girl who needs to prove herself to the guys, Scar, the jock meat head who doesn't care about anything, Ryan, the flamboyant one, Mike, the weirdo, bubbly art freak, Kate (my friend, Emily, is drawing her with bubble pink hair and rainbow eyelashes xD), the libby, queen of school, Isabella, her minions, hot boyfriend, Zac, and the freak, emo who wishes to express his "deepest and darkest of his soul" into art, Sean.

So I have the pilot down, and I was going to start on the second one. I think I'll be able to finish as soon as I figure out what the hell is the plot of this story O.o

Or maybe I'll just make it up as I go along.

See yah!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Doesn't like any of us, just the idea

(FUTURE EDIT: This is so dumb. So dumb. But I have a choice: delete all old entries, or leave them up as a reminder that we were all once odd little fourteen year olds. So I decided to keep it and change the names except for like one or two)

School's been crazy, I can't keep my mouth shut, but I won't say much of that. There's some other things I shall complain about. What's a blog without a bit of high school drama? So here it goes. Sigh. Begin boring story now :D

Last year when I met the art people and most of us were freshies with the exception of Emily, there was this guy whom I shall refer to as K. K was sort of...overly friendly, but still, he was an okay guy. He was a senior, became friends with us, and finally graduated. He dated a girl name Lynn at some point, but they broke up after a few weeks, especially after a girl (friend of Lynn) started a rumor that K was going to fight some other guys because of her...or something. Hell, I don't remember. Anyways, after the first week of school was finally over, Jade and her brother invited me, Kate, another friend, and K to go to the mall, and we just went. Overall, it was a day where we just spent running around a lot, but Jade made an offhand comment about K having asked her before, and her having in turn, asked the rest of us. I didn't think much of it.

K gave me, Kate, and Jade chocking-bear-hugs and was again, overly friendly. I reached the conclusion a long time ago he was just that type of person and didn't think anything of it. He even grabbed Kate--the shortest of us all--and carried her over his shoulder, and kept mentioning that he used to like her...and something about another girl back in the old school being obsessed with him. It was...odd.

Jade and her brother had to leave early, but we went to go see a movie (The Expendables). Now comes me being an idiot. I told Maria about it, and she told me I wasn't in the point of no return, but here is me being a complete and utter dumbass. I suppose we were half-holding hands through the movie. Not only that, but he also kept hugging Kate and letting her rest up against him. If I moved, he would look at me, if Kate moved, he would look at her.

Awkward, stupid, and I guess we sort of led him on, so it was fucked up on my part, especially because I'm not actually interested in him but...anyways.

Movie ends. It was awesome. We walk out. Gave him my phone number. I leave. End of story.

Kind of.

Next morning, I get a message from Jade asking me what I thought about K. I wanted to ignore it at first, and I managed to sidetrack her enough, but I had to ask her on Monday, and since she wasn't there, we were texting. I also told Emily the story, but she told me to watch out, since K can act like a manwhore.

So we kept talking, on Wednesday K texted me and I decided to answer. He spoke about something that was making him feel down, and finally he asked me if I liked him or not, and added that he wanted to know because he likes another girl and wanted to know who he had a better chance with.

I was on the phone with Maria when I got this. Me = laughing. Maria = "oh hell fuck no, that asshole, what the fuck is wrong with him!?"

Yeah, she took it a lot worse than I did, but I went with it. So I texted him something like, "Oh wow, I feel so honored to be 2nd choice." He answered, "It's a tie actually." And told me that the girl he liked was Jade.

My face: O______________O

He told me that the reason was that he knew it wasn't going anywhere with that really just means he's using me as a last resort and "oh she showed interest in me maybe I should go with her." Which is beyond messed up, and it's also pretty clear that he likes Kate. So I told him he had to figure out who it was that he liked the most--which I now realize makes it sound like I like him--before asking out anyone. Apparently he had already asked Jade out and she turned him down, but again, I gave him no answer. I told him to think about it and tell me later.

I dragged Jade away from everyone on Thursday after school to ask her about it, and she admitted that it was true, but she hadn't told anyone. We were both laughingly freaking out. I didn't get to talk to her for long, but on lunch today, Jade showed me a few of the messages K sent her.

Not only is he going "hey, sexy" effectively creeping her out, but he also asked her that if next week when we go to the movies again (since we ended up planning it) if he could hold her hand. She didn't answer to that, apparently finding no way to make him understand she's not interested. When we spoke with Emily and a few other friends during lunch, they told us he likes Kate, or had said so, but had also apparently liked every single female friend he ever had. He even texted Emily something like "I'm looking for a date, but so far no luck." Oh okay. So this is a meat market to him?

After school, I guess both me and Jade were rather freaked out at what had happened, but we were still laughing, because it's all so stupid. Did he forget me and Jade are friends? Did he truly forget that, even after a few days earlier of seeing us walk alongside and talk while at the mall? Didn't he think that if Jade was getting sick of his bullshit she would have shown me the text messages as I told her about what he said?

According to Emily, it's always been like this. It's gotten to a point where I think he doesn't necessarily like any of us, he just likes the idea of being with someone. Jade has turned him down repetitively and he doesn't get the hint. Now, maybe he truly does like her and he's using me as a last resort. I'm rather annoyed at that, but not really angry.

What irks me is the fact that if he truly liked Jade he would probably go only after her, not have one or even two other girls as last resorts if things didn't go bad. That either means that he'll be using me or Kate as girlfriends to attempt to make Jade jealous, or that he'll forget about any sort of "feelings" he had for Jade because they weren't there in the first place.

Emily said he hadn't had any friends prior to meeting them, so maybe he's just plain lonely, and now scared that he's out of high school and doesn't necessarily know what to do. But he doesn't need to use the rest of us as some sort of shitty paths to happiness, let alone toy with all of us like we were a bunch of dumbasses who wouldn't know what he was doing.

And if he expects us to fight for him, then he's an idiot, nothing more, nothing else.

I've met plenty of people that have said they loved someone, but had just simply been in love with the idea of falling in love. I didn't think much of it until now. Is this really what the entire freaking world is coming to? Just us running around and trying to find someone because heaven forbid we end up single? Jeez.

Anyways, I'm not too worried about it, because I don't think either Kate nor Jade are stupid enough to fall for him, and I know he won't be trying anything with me. Maybe it would help if I could tell him all this, but chances are he's going to either start calling me a jealous bitch or just not listen at all. I suppose I should try either way, but I'll wait a little while.


Saturday, August 21, 2010

They changed my schedule!?

Switched team sports with beginning aerobics and took away 2 of my electives so I could have...

NC Study Hall OFF the high school?


And because of that I have BIOLOGY everyday?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaugh, what the f does that mean!?


Friday, August 20, 2010

Through 10th grade...

I guess my main problem in 9th grade was that while I was, quote, end quote, "surviving," I didn't necessarily had any clear goals of anything. I really just wanted to get out of school and make it to the weekends. It's not like I was actually trying to get anything done. But now, I'm going to have to do much more. I have to study everyday, but since I'm a pretty lazy person, I'll probably only study 20 minutes per subject or something. If I do it every day though, I should get saved, right? Not only that, but I really need to start writing. So I guess I'll keep a tally that shows how many chapters I have done for a story. We'll go from there.

SciFi/Military Story: Prologue and 17 chapters. 18 in process.
Fantasy/Steam Punk: Prologue. 1st chapter in process.
2nd SciFi: In planning process.

That's the short plan anyways :P

My schedule for 10th grade

So...first things first:
    I don't know whether to scream in agony or squeal in happiness at the fact I have A.P Psych for 2nd period, meaning I'll have to go there every day for an hour, even before home room starts...
    Well, I need 2 years of language anyways, and from what I hear, the teacher I have for that class is nice so I think I can survive...maybe...hopefully
    JOURNALISM! -squeals- now, I'm not actually sure how good or bad the class will be, but as long as I can write, I really won't care.
    Yeah, I saw that coming. Algebra 2 O.o the teacher also doesn't sound so mean. Of course, I can only hope.
    I don't think English will kill me...
    Okay, I saw it coming, and I'm pretty sure she's the nice one, but stiiiiiiiiiiill -weeps- I'm doomed.
    And biology. I'm screwed, but...bleh. I'll keep my head high and hopefully pass :P

    So yes. All honors. Only one elective I want. Another one I won't mind. And the last one...ugh, why is it required to take at least one year of P.E? Granted it could be worst. I COULD have to take 2 years, but still. Am I really going to need to know how to run a mile in under 5 minutes as a writer? I'm all up for being healthy, but those P.E classes are terrible T_T

    Well, I'll just have to put my head down and go with it. I went through one year of high school, 3 more won't kill me.

    Tuesday, August 10, 2010

    The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly (and school, here I come :P)

    So there's like 2 weeks left before school starts. That is all :D

    Now, for some reason, I was thinking of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. I recently saw it. Like maybe a few weeks ago. Despite the fact that I loved it and can clearly see why it's a classic, I never actually imagined it to be that good.

    This isn't really a review of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, because, well...I'm sure it's been praised hundred of times before. It's more of me coming to understatement as to what makes a great movie. See, here's the thing. I had no idea The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly was a deconstruction of westerners. I thought it was just like a regular western, but I was willing to let that pass because I figured it was the first.

    See, here's what I thought the story was:

    You start with the Bad, Angel Eyes. He's evil and does things just...because he's evil. Or maybe because he wants to find a treasure or something. More or less, he's a monster. The Ugly, Tuco, is an idiot who once worked for Angel Eyes but pissed him off. He's the closest we're gonna get to anti-hero. So Angel Eyes is going to kill him and Tuco runs away and gets in a lot of trouble. That's when Blondie, the Good, would come in. He would be a big damn hero to Tuco and help him when he's in a bind. When he figures out Angel Eyes is a monster running around killing and raping people, Blondie decides to stop him (because...he's good :P) and Tuco follows. At first, Tuco won't be really good, he'll just follow around in dept. But of course, Blondie will turn him into a better man. (And also, Blondie gets to sleep with several women...or he gets the hottest female lead :P). And then we find Angel Eyes. And Blondie and him...fight, I guess? And then Tuco gets in trouble. Blondie saves him again. Angel Eyes almost kills Blondie as it looks like Tuco's gonna betray him. And then after a turn, Tuco decides he's loyal to Blondie and so he turns to the tables on Angel Eyes and helps Blondie, who in turn, kills Angel Eyes. There. That's what I thought the story would be.

    I was so wrong.

    When it started my reaction was:
    *watches introduction of Tuco, shown as "the Ugly"* far just how I pictured.

    *watches introduction of Angel Eyes, calling him "the Bad"*

    *watches introduction of Blondie, marking him "the Good"*

    And as it turns out...I had no idea why the f Blondie was the hero for half the story until he...well...he was good in the most anti-hero way possible! And Tuco wasn't just some load walking around like an idiot and making Blondie look good. He was an actual character. He had flaws and strengths. And Angel Eyes was...just..he made sense. He wasn't a boring villain.
    Also noted, at some point, Angel Eyes and Blondie sort of team up O.o
    Plus, as noted by T.V tropes

    Crowning Moment Of Heartwarming: Blondie, who has been an unapologetically cynical and cruel person throughout the entire film, finally lives up to his label of "The Good" when he comforts a dying soldier in an unpretentiously spontaneous moment of kindness, lighting the boy One Last Smoke and warming him with his coat in his final moments.
    • Another touching moment is between Tuco and Blondie after the fight between Tuco and his brother. Tuco doesn't know that Blondie saw the fight, and tries to convince Blondie, if not himself, that his brother loves him and looks up to him, and we see the underlying sadness in how lonely he is and how his only "brother" is Blondie. Made much more sad when one thinks of the ending.
      • One of the best parts is Blondie's "and after a good meal, there's nothing like a cigar". He may be cold and pragmatic throughout most of the movie, but this little gesture of friendship and willingness to play along with Tuco's lie shows that he feels compassion for him, at least a little.
    • Not immediately obvious, but the final scene. Sure, Blondie leaves Tuco tied up, almost kills him and leaves without as much as a word. But think about it - he lets Tuco leave, lets him keep the gold, and indirectly tells him (by shooting the rope) that their score is settled. For a tough gunslinger, that's as close to explicitly making peace with Tuco as it possibly could be.


    Hell, I didn't even know the civil war was part of the story. That's what I get for never watching trailers or even seeing movie posters.
    In the end, I'm glad.

    I guess that's what made the movie so great, and what separates incredible movies or just...stories from the norm. It doens't even have to be anything new and compelling (even though the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly was rather new and a different outlook of westerns) but just the execution and the story have to be able to capture us.

    Plus, not only was the story good, everything else was made of win.

    The acting
    The direction
    The soundtrack
    The setting
    The dialogue
    The costumes

    Ups, I guess this did turn into a major "praise the the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" post, but...meh. It was worth it.


    Monday, July 26, 2010

    Yay! Finally finished summer courses!

    Technically, Wednesday was suppose to be my last day, the day of the final, but my teacher's busy. So she gave us the final to take home, and so I did it today and turned it in before leaving. Hooray! I'm done. I guess that means I should start writing again. Plus, I've thought of a few more characters. They're mostly used for role plays...but I feel like later putting them in a story. We'll see ^^

    Saturday, July 24, 2010

    New favorite comedian!

    Quick update. Just yesterday did I find out about feminist comedian, Sarah Haskins.

    Here's two of her segments (some of my favorites):

    Sunday, June 27, 2010

    Things are a-changing...

    So a few points for today's post. One, I haven't updated Broken and haven't spoken to dear Debbie. I should be shot. Two, I just started my psychology summer courses. I'm in a room with 18, 19, and 20 year olds and only with 4 people my age. Yet it's fun and the teacher's actually nice and interesting. Three, I finally manage to finish the execution chapter in my sci-fi story and yet I still blank out and can't write the next. This was suppose to be the hard chapter! You suck, Rebeca. Four, I've joined many RPs, and I'm having trouble keeping up with them. It's getting annoying.

    Let's just talk about one of them, number 2. The college courses are insane and interesting, but I have a paper due on I don't know what day. I have to check the syllabus. We missed the first day because of some mix up, and so we (the 4 students from my school, Giselle, Crystal, and Robert) got transfered to the 8 a.m class rather than the 10:30 class (Jen was with us, but she got the last spot.) So we have a different teacher, and there's no other students from our high school. The 10:30 class has only students from the high school. Ours? Only the 4 of us. And yet it's not that different. It's just that on Wednesday of last week we went insane. Apparently we didn't have a class, and someone told us we had a paper due. We spent most of the day running around campus like idiots, and finally at the library, trying to figure out what to do. In the end, I don't know how we got out alive from that one.

    Nor do I know how we'll be surviving these next couple of weeks Dx


    Friday, June 18, 2010

    Arkana design done by my friend

    So since in high school I ended up becoming friends with the artistic people, (who happen to be incredibly nice O.o) I asked my friend Emily to draw Arkana and create her clothes and weapon. I think it came out pretty cool:
    It's on her deviant art right now, under VampireNote13 I believe. I think it came out pretty awesome. The simple, yet effective, steampunk feeling it gives out is awesome.

    She's also drawing my other character, Jacob. I'll post that picture when she's done.

    (And it's...also copyrighted by Emily and me xD)

    Tuesday, June 15, 2010

    Rewriting a Story

    (As a note: I'll be posting pictures on here I found on the internet. They are NOT mine and I am not making any profit from them. If you're the creator and don't want them use here just tell me and I'll take them down :D)

    So when I was around 11 or 12, I wrote a novella (at the time I called it a novel, psh. Actually, I think it was just a short story :P) which was basically a Medieval Fantasy Europe story with a 12 year old (going on 13) prince who meets an 11 year old witch. Blah, blah, blah stuff happens and I finish the story at about 100 pages with humongous font and gave it to my best friend for Christmas (she gave me a story in return, called "Violet".) So years later I decide to rewrite. I rewrite the reasons, the back story, the characters grow older, they gain flaws and talents, even added Dragons, I try to make it as Grey and Gray Morality as possible, and I end up writing the intro.

    Then I go to a bookstore and when I pull a fantasy book out, it was almost always set in a Medieval Fantasy Europe setting. I already knew it was popular, but I never realized how many authors were doing it until that day. I know Tolkien popularized it, and it's because of him I was writing my story in the first place, but I don't really want to do that anymore. I thought over my story and tried to figure out what to do. But sadly, I couldn't come up with anything.

    Then, when I was reading the tv trope page (it's my favorite site now xD) about the anime adaptation of Howl's Moving Castle, I read this:
    ...directed by Hayao Miyazaki, very loosely based on the novel. Now, instead of a Medieval European Fantasy, the land of Ingary is a Steam Punk world filled with both technology and magic.
    It's not surprising seen as how it's Hayaoi Miyasaki (there's always a pattern like that in his films xD but I'm not complaining of course) but it bought forth an idea. How about going from this:

    To this:

    There are different types of Punk related to steam punk, so I'll have to play around with them. I know this has also been done before, but steam punk is something I've never tried and never thought I would try. But I could try to combine both (and I know that has been done too, I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm the first person to think of it) and write my story.

    Of course, I'm still writing my SciFi story and Broken, and there's hundreds more ideas in my head, so for now, it's just in the planning stages. But I do want to do something more than just medieval world and put some effort in it (because don't worry, I'm not just taking Steam Punk and running with it. I have to work hard on creating the world.)

    There you have it. My plan :D

    P.S: It might sound like I'm trying to mock stories with medieval settings, but I'm really not. I'm just trying to do something I've never tried before. Besides, how could I ever mock something like Dragon Age. It's because of that game I wanted to add dragons to the story.

    (Wow, some of the pictures came out too big xDD))

    Sunday, June 13, 2010

    You have to freaking kidding me.

    Really? Really? Just...really?

    Gloria Tesch took out a video of...of...god I can't even describe it! Just check the link.

    What the hell? What the rotting hell is that girl thinking? I was laughing for 20 minutes straight before I realized this chick is demented. She's so blind at how much she needs to grow that now she took out a book/movie trailer that signs her death sentence in the writing world.

    I actually saw it first on the Black Pawn Movement videos, and I thought for a second they had added some of the cheesy bits.

    Lie. Lie. All a lie. It was in the original video
    On another note: I was at the library the other day and I saw 2 books by author Mancusi, of Gamer Girl. I think it was Boys that Bite and Girls that Growl. I was so utterly annoyed at them that I decided, "Screw it. I'll just rip apart Gamer Girl." Just because.... All I'm glad about is that it isn't overly popular, or I would have probably gone into rage mode.

    I also found the book Willow, which I saw my friend reading a few months ago. I can't stand the dialogue, it just feels to forced. But it was getting interesting so maybe I'll get it or just borrow it and see how it goes.


    Thursday, May 13, 2010


    I know I freaked out yesterday, but I couldn't help it. Although I should aim high, I shouldn't collapse when I don't get there.

    Balance, balance, balance.

    That's all that matters apparently..


    Wednesday, May 5, 2010

    Roger Ebert

    He's a great man. I love his movie critiques and mostly always agree with them.

    Say what?

    Should I pick shitty films and say cinema is a disgrace to human minds? That's what it felt like he did. I'll admit, I couldn't go through the entire article, but comeeeeeee on.


    Personally, I agree with you. At the age of 45 I've just started to play my first MMORPG and it is anything but art. It's a game. I don't play it to achieve some sort of greater understanding of humanity - I play it so I can get my mind off the drudgery of my day. That's not art - it's entertainment. (And you of all people know there's a difference.)

    Some one in the comments said that. Great video games--like all forms of art--help you sit down and think. Just look at the tittles I mentioned above. I just LOVE how all video games are simply chunked down into one category by people who don't know jack shit.

    There are good video games, there are bad video games. Some are art, some others are just crap.

    *sigh* The rest of the comments defend this waaaaaay better. I could barely read through it so I'm sorry.

    And because I loved this next article, here's what said about it.


    P.S: Still freaking studying. Should not have taken a break.

    Tuesday, May 4, 2010

    Yet another quick update...

    So I did good on the Drama quiz/test/whatever it was, but now I have a quiz tomorrow in History, a quiz on Friday for science, and I'm anxious about psychology and math.

    In math she gave us a worksheet of 11.4 since our teacher wasn't there, and since we weren't too sure about it, I just KNOW she's gonna get pissed tomorrow at us. And in psychology, well, he posted something on the website about a presentation on Friday, but he hasn't assigned any groups or who's suppose to do what module. He's gonna kill us tomorrow.

    Plus we got a shit-load of homework for English because of the research paper. The Insanity Defense thing is interesting, but this outline is gonna make me commit suicide.

    And on next Monday, not only do I have to take ANOTHER drama quiz (or is that on Friday?) I also need to take one for Psychology.

    I'm deaaaaaaaaaaaad. How am I suppose to get my grades into straight A's this semester when I couldn't even do that the last 3 semesters and they were the easy ones.

    Aahaoidaslbew uhfsad lawreoafhakrhhrwaopw awed.

    Finished my History homework, now I'm gonna do a little of my English one and review for psychology and drama while I render the video for my best friends birthday.

    Guess I won't be writing Broken till the Holy Summer comes :P

    I hope Debbie doesn't get disappointed...and I hope my reviewers don't ditch me.

    Saturday, May 1, 2010

    The extra chapter :D

    So I finished half of my lap report and I'm still researching coulrophobia. Who knew Johnny Depp--awesome, Johnny Depp who played the closest thing there is to a clown in Alice in Wonderland--was coulrophobic (no, Google Chrome spell check, I do not mean claustrophobic.)

    So I'm taking a break for a while, reading off random things on the internet. Then I opened the folder where I keep my short stories, fanfiction chapters, and in-progress novel. Apparently I still have the copy of the extra chapter for FANG: A Maximum Ride novel.

    This reminded me of something. I never mailed the extra chapter, so I'll explain why.

    A couple weeks ago I saw that there was a contest to write an extra chapter for the book Fang. I didn't really read the rules correctly and thought it said that we couldn't write less than 500 words rather than up to, so I wrote a short chapter, around 2,000 words. In truth, I did it for the money. I know I would have taken the opportunity from people who actually love the books, but I only did it for the money. I've never really liked them much. The first 3 were bearable, and I didn't hate the 4th despite it pushing the message (which I do sometimes, but I'm trying to get better.)

    But it had a cool price, so I went with it. When I read the rules back I realized I had to cut it down. I edited all I could but I couldn't shorten the chapter. I couldn't make Dylan fly in half an hour despite that was what the book said. I had to add trail and error. Had the book been written by me, Dylan wouldn't have learned how to fly until his 9th day attempting to fly (or maybe...I would have had to do research.)

    In the end I realized I couldn't write it like that, so I didn't send it. I know I completely eliminated the possibility of getting good money out of it, but I couldn't send something mediocre. I know, it's weird. It shouldn't be hard to cut down 2,000+ words into 500- words, but I still couldn't do it right.

    It made me think a lot about the Maximum Ride series in general--how they get powers as the plot demands it, how it crosses all the way to science is evil, the Lego genetics, the Luke I am your Father moment, and pretty much everything T.V tropes can cover--because I decided to re-read the books after it. It also made me think about my own stories, so I'm hoping to make things better out moments like this.

    Sorry for the pointless post, I'll go back to my homework xD

    Thursday, April 29, 2010

    Quick Update - Voting and a Busy Weekend Ahead (yay, I have no life :D)

    Today was the election for some thingy magingy student council president...or something. I don't know. All I remember is going downstairs to get the beagles with a friend and bumping into 2 girls who gave me a lollipop and a sticker so I could vote for Kaitlyn. So I did. It's not like they're gonna do anything. Then for the sophomore thing I voted for Jen, because...I know her. I knew the other girl too, but I'm more friends with Jen, although I still don't know if they're gonna do anything.

    After school, when I was waiting for it to be 3:30, I was in the library when this dude and Robert walked in, sat in the computers next to me and flipped because they had to write 2 papers each for a sociology class. They wrote about a paragraph and gave up (we tried to come up with ideas as to how they could pull out an excuse to get extra time, but they finally decided on "oh well, we tried.") After they left I sort of wondered what I would have done.

    I probably would have given up too...

    I got most of my resources for the research paper down and now I need to highlight them, summarize them, and some other things. I am not gonna have fun this weekend, even though I got a recommendation for an anime I really want to watch :P

    I'll have to finish the beginning of the research paper, study for drama, study for math, do some homework for the latter, type a lab report, reprint an H.R Diagram (because apparently I wasn't suppose to print out a blank out; nobody told me!) go over some CPT English assignments, and finish editing the video for my best friend's birthday.

    Plus I should update Broken and write a little on my SciFi story.



    I'm gonna go pass out now,

    Wednesday, April 28, 2010

    Research Paper

    I just got back from CPT; I still have to do some homework so I'm gonna make this quick.

    Since I had a "panic attack" (a migraine and the need to throw up, which I guess isn't really a panic attack :/ I'm lame) on Monday, I ended up missing my English class and couldn't do the beginning of the research paper. My teacher's cool so after I told him I had CPT he said I could turn it in on Monday. So I chose the topic of the insanity defense. I asked Debbie about it, since she's got majoring in psychology (as well as English Lit.) and knows about those things. I had to ask her because I really had no idea in what side to chose, and after reading somethings online I was leaning towards "not valid."

    Debbie, though, said in the email

    "Insanity is a very valid defense. Mentally ill people need treatment, not punishment.

    There's this idea people have that if you plead insanity, you get off. The truth is you get to serve...awhile in a mental institution to seek treatment. For the heinous crimes, you're basic stuck there the rest of your life anyway. "

    And she told me about how the evaluation for insanity is and recommended I do some more research on it. I think it makes perfect sense, plus she concluded it with:

    "Helping people is much more important than punishing them"

    So I'll be writing from that perspective. It should be easy now, so I'll research some cases and more on the evaluation. Hopefully it doesn't burn me out. (Either way, I like that last line that Debbie said. I could make my character quote her xDDD)

    I'm starting a Trig chapter in my math class tomorrow, and I'm kind of freaked out because I can't find the book, so after I find more info on the thing I'll have to look for it.

    Oh, and as for Debbie's short story, I thought it was awesome and so did the people I sent it too. At the beginning I thought I had the story figured out, but she tricked me (well...everyone xD) very cleverly. It was a great story in my opinion :D.


    Book: Carrie
    Anime: Samurai Champloo
    Movie: Clash of the Titans (I saw it the same day as Kick Ass)
    Mood: A little uneasy
    Listening to: Cars passing by, now an airplane.
    SciFi novel word and page count: 113,802 words and 188 pages (haven't written anything yet...:P)
    Planning to Write: Friday.

    Tuesday, April 27, 2010


    I kept forgetting to update, and school is continuing to kill me. I got into CPT classes and they've already cancelled it twice. How am I suppose to pass the math test without a calculator? I'll learn all the formulas they want, algebra's always been pretty and straightforward like that, but no calculator?

    I should probably memorize all the multiplication tables again and learn how to multiply with fractions again O_o. I'm so used to writing decimals. Also, I won't be doing the Gamer Girl thing. It had annoying moments, but I re-read it and it wasn't as bad as I remembered. Cliched and wall-banger-worthy, at times, but there's character development. That's nice :D (scraping the bottom of the barrel here)

    Also, in psychology class, my classmates kept talking and my teacher got angry, and so gave us a 20 page report. It started with 10, but they wouldn't shut up. He said life wasn't fair when we complained and I had to hold back to tell him that didn't mean it had to be unjust. I flipped out in the car after CPT (this was a week ago, I think) and my dad said not to worry. At the very least, I could copy and paste and add BS in the middle. I even asked Debbie, because I had a topic in mind that would help for my scifi story too, and it got pretty good. Thing was, I didn't know what specifically we were suppose to talk about. So I emailed him, asking him about it and he wrote back:


    Then turns out I was the only one that had asked him what the hell we were suppose to do, so because of that I saved the class. No one had asked him expect for me, and no one did the paper anyways, so we got saved. Yay! I got to be a hero. After that, not much happened. Except for the house thing with my parents. Bloody economy. Then...

    I updated my fanfiction, formated my sci fi story while adding more chapters, studied a little for classes, and am currently finishing a video for my best friend's birthday. I won't get to do much since I should start studying for finals, but I don't feel as afraid as...yesterday.

    I freaked out so much about everything I actually got sick O_O

    That's life,

    P.S: I just got a magazine from Debbie where she got her short story published. She keeps saying it's lame, but I'm gonna prove her wrong xD.

    Anime: Samurai Champloo
    Movie: Kick Ass (which...kicked ass. Yeah, I know, that joke is overused xD)
    Book: The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger
    Mood: Peaceful (for now O_o)
    Listening to: Birds singing, cars driving, and MSN alerting me.
    SciFi novel word and page count: 113,802 words and 188 pages (The pages are little because I formated it differently xD).
    Planning to write: Some day soon :)

    Monday, February 22, 2010

    Atheists don't exist?

    I was in Drama today and our teacher was grading our Macbeth papers (and commenting on how much crappy cheaters we all are =P) when one of my classmates started talking about her weekend. She's a little religious, which I don't mind too much. She talked about those times when the preacher starts praying for you. Y'know, when they touch your forehead and you start shaking and sometimes pass out. I didn't make much comments on it, even stopped myself from explaining why it happened and that it wasn't "the spirit" making you react that way. But either way I wanted to tell them something that happened to my friend that went to a Christian school.

    So at the beginning I pointed out that she was atheist, because I thought it would be rather interesting in their eyes. The girl sitting next to me asked me what it meant. I told it her that it meant one didn't believe in god. She kind of went all "Ohhhhhhhh," and then said something along the lines of "Well it's not really true. It doesn't exist. Cuz like, you say you don't believe, but deep inside you know you do."

    Uhm....what? That may be true for some people, but not for all. Just because someone doesn't believe in a certain god it doesn't mean that they're pushing it back and holding it deep inside of them. It just means they don't believe. That's it.

    The thing is, that kind of bothered me because I'm an atheist. And, look, I don't care whether you believe or not. As long as a person doesn't try to interfere with my life or the life of others, then there's no need for me to care what you believe in. It's your choice. But for the same reason I don't say. "Oh, please. Now a days people don't even believe. They just say they do, but deep inside, they know they don't."

    Who am I to say what a person believes or doesn't believe. I know this argument has been brought up many times, but I still had to write it. Mostly because it reminded me of what happened in History class. (The girl who made the comment from above is in this class too. I kind of consider her a friend, and she does too I suppose.) We were studying how priests and nuns used to live their life long ago, during the Middle Ages, when the question came up of why they were always so busy and never had much distractions. The correct answer, of course, was that they did this so they could completely focus on their prayers and mostly everything related to God. Some guy said "Yeah, but, it's not necessary. Because they're not living life how God wants them to."

    Or something along those lines. I don't know exactly why he said it or what else someone else said. But out of nowhere they started talking about atheists. My classmates kept saying the same thing yet wording it differently; that people turn atheistic because they asked god for something and he didn't give it to them, so they lost their faith. Or they lost someone they loved and refused to believe anymore.

    I don't know if anyone noticed, but after the 4th time someone said that, I was raising an eyebrow and getting annoyed. Finally I pointed out that people may become atheist because religion just doesn't make any sense to them, science gives them answers to all the questions. I left out the fact that they truly shouldn't all just pain atheists as poor fellows or spoiled children that didn't get what they want. When I turned atheist it was pretty straight forward. We all grow and change differently. Some change greatly, others do not. That doesn't mean it's bad. But generalizing so much about one entire group based on a certain number of people is wrong. Not only that, but it also gets annoying.

    I'm not trying to paint myself as a Special Snowflake and say I was the only atheist in that classroom, but I was the only one to say that. Others probably didn't say anything because I had a) already said what was needed or b) weren't as bothered about it as I was. Or maybe something else that I don't know off. Either way that's what went down.

    Anyways, that's all for today. Sorry for not updating. I don't know about the Gamer Girl thing...but I'm still thinking about it.

    Gotta go eat pizza!

    As of Today:
    Book: Macbeth (it's gotten easier to read since I took drama class)
    Anime: Ergo Proxy.
    Movie: Haven't seen any new ones.
    Mood: Hungry
    Listening to: Pandora station "Led Zeppelin" Song: "Your Time is Gonna Come." - Jimmy Page
    Should really be studying...: For English.
    Scifi Novel word and page count: 73,503 words and 147 pages.
    Planning to write: Wednesday.

    Monday, February 15, 2010

    Starting all over again.

    Yeah, middle school was technically bleh. And now I'm back again, because....well I have no idea. I want to type something. So here I am. Right now, I'm watching the Olympics and the U.S champions are about to skate right now. Denney/Barrett says they're about to start. Dude looks nervous.

    It's a little weird to tell myself to start again in the middle of of 9th grade. High school hasn't been anything special. No delicious drama, no heart-breaking boyfriends, no drowning friendships, and my grades are, at the very best, average. I'm trying to pull straight A's. No easy task. Something interesting that happened though was at the middle of writing Broken--a fanfiction story but in an AU--a girl contacted me. A college girl at that. She actually offered to help me editing. That was unexpected, but she has turned out to be a great friend and mentor. Plus she sent me Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I can tell it was her copy and that she read it and re-read it many times.

    The reason she offered to help me was because she told me that when she was young she always wanted some writer to pop out of nowhere and offer to help her with editing. It never happened, so now that's she's older and more experienced she's helping me. I'm incredibly grateful, and maybe I'll do the same later on in life.

    So I guess I'll tell you guys what I'm writing about.

    One, Broken. A hurt/comfort fic that hopefully isn't very crappy, seeing as how the main character suffered from rape and now hates men. I stole characters from final fantasy 7, but it's technically not related at all. Yeah, I'm lame. You can read it if you want, it's out into the world. I'm getting great advice from awesome people and trying at character development, so hopefully I'll get there.

    Another thing I'm writing...well that...that I'm going to have to call My First SciFi Novel. Mostly because I can't turn around without hearing someone say the name of the tittle. I know, it's childish to get angry at it. But seriously! Why is it popping out of nowhere!? I think that's what I get for using a fairly common word as the tittle of a novel. But it makes a lot of sense with the story. It'll also be the first time I write a sequel for something.

    Both stories have unlikeable main characters. Yay!

    I'll write more later.

    As of Today:
    Book: Star Trek (the movie's novelization) and Halo: First Strike.
    Anime: Ergo Proxy.
    Movie: I don't remember what the last one was...
    Mood: Sleepy.
    Should really be studying...: For psychology and history.
    Scifi Novel word and page count: 69,617 words and 139 pages.
    Planning to write: Tomorrow.
    "Science and science fiction have done a kind of dance over the last century... The scientists make a finding. It inspires science fiction writers to write about it, and a host of young people read the science fiction and are excited, and inspired to become scientists...which they do, which then feeds again into another generation of science fiction and science..."
    - Carl Sagan, in his message to future explorers of Mars.