Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Am I a Wide-Eyed Idealist? As in...not the "oh she's so good, look at her, what a SAINT!" I mean..."dumbass, you can't save the world" type.

For a little while now, I've figured 2010 is the year life decided to bitch-slap me and a few people I know. We could do much worst. We could be stuck in Darfur in the middle of a holocaust. We could be on the streets, panhandling and sleeping in the back of strip clubs. But though I'm living a perfect life by comparison, the kids I know are living lives that might as well have been copied down from a really bad fanfiction.

This guy and I broke up a while back, and I have soon discovered it didn't even NEED to happen. But it did...

There's a girl, let's trouble. Badly. At the moment, she feels almost like a kid stuck in an after school special. My friend doesn't believe her. She could be lying. But I've chosen to believe her. And so has Shadow. She has told us each separate secrets that we told each other so we could figure something out.

But things are going downhill. I being stupid? Emily's right. I can't be Atlas. I'm not strong, fast, smart, or even have connections. I'm quoting Kickass here when I say like most people my age, I just exist. And it's selfish, because I want to do something so I won't stay empty and without purpose. I've always hated bystanders, in both fiction and real life, but what can I do?

Not only is it truly stupid to even consider it, I'm being more of an idiot thinking I can actually do anything. So I'll have to plan. I'll have to do more than just speaking...and at the same time, I can't put myself in danger. Which I mean...this isn't a story. If I do something stupid, the power of Good isn't going to help me. In the least. First I have to know if I'm even going to do anything good. If I'm not just damaging her situation more.

What confused me the most was what some of us can say. We can speak with such criticism of the world and make ourselves appear like we understand more than selfish idiots but...

If we don't want to do anything, are we being a selfish asshole? Or are we being realistic and smart?

Who knows by this point. Maybe I'm just being an idiot.

Not like there's anything I can do till I get more information.


  1. You have to decide how you view the world yourself. Props for quoting Kickass though. :P

  2. I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the hottest virtual strippers on my taskbar.


"Science and science fiction have done a kind of dance over the last century... The scientists make a finding. It inspires science fiction writers to write about it, and a host of young people read the science fiction and are excited, and inspired to become scientists...which they do, which then feeds again into another generation of science fiction and science..."
- Carl Sagan, in his message to future explorers of Mars.