Monday, May 30, 2011

Another Day Studying

GHA! Dx I forgot I had my background on shuffle and when I turned on my computer a little while ago, I had a picture of Elle Fanning--the actress I use to represent my character Dream--staring blankly at me, laying completely still and doll-like.

It scared the crap out of me.

This is the picture:

It comes out a bit pixalated since I have to reduce the size.
The actual picture is bigger, just right click on it and you'll see the epicness...

It's currently on my background, staring at me >_>'
Or's surrounded by a bunch of electronic sticky notes and that kind of kills the effect, but she's still stariiiing at me O_O. And seeing as how Dream keeps getting creepier with her River Tam/Luna Lovegood vibes as well as her own developing...creepiness (I need to go to Dx), that picture's making me shuffle uncomfortably.

You'd think I have better things to worry about than my character staring at me the fact the next week is finaaaals and after that I can be FREE AGAIN! :D

For...a week at least...then it's back to college classes. Plus, I have to take spanish online and do some community service work AND work on a summer project for my AP American History class. And maybe...y'know...get this thing...what's it called--oh yeah. A job.

Oh boy O_o

The only good thing is next year I won't have English since it gets taken out so I can have room for MORE college classes. I'll miss having an English class, but the last time I learned anything was 7th grade. After that, I'm not exactly sure what English teachers are suppose to be teaching...

That sounds conceited, doesn't it? Dx

On a last, stupid note, have I mentioned I wince every time I look at a skinny person's ribs? I'm watching a James Bond film with my dad and one of the women is walking around in a bathing suit (I know, I know: why wouldn't she? She's a BOND GIRL! D:). She's not exactly underweight, but when she leans back, I can see the outline of her ribs. Just...ghaaaa. I know these girls have better bodies than I'll ever have, but that kind of thing makes me wince so much O_e


Sunday, May 29, 2011

Slender Man and Lolita

I think I'm growing insanely obsessed with The Slender Man stories O_o' I read the first mythos two nights ago at FIRST and then quickly turned my attention elsewhere so I could get some sleep and not freak out every time I heard something tap against my window. Although this one picture of him with children and the like caused me to freak out enough (and it freaked out a couple of my friends when I showed it to them. I should know better than to scare an eleven year old with such a thing >_>). All of yesterday I read on TV tropes all about him, as well as some of the fictional blogs. My favorite had to be Seeking Truth, which I finished last night before moving onto the sequel. Squee!

It took me a while to figure out that Slendy wasn't some urban legend and instead was createdon the SomethingAwful forums (as in, it took me a while because I was stupid enough not to go check Wiki right away). Still freaked me out a bit, and I did have trouble sleeping.

Random other thought: I was thinking...There's something about the name Dolores that's so appealing. I've started using Lolita as my internet name, the nickname for Dolores as you might know, and it seems only a few people seem to understand what I'm referring to. My eleven year old friend Carp (the same one I freaked out with Slendy. Honestly, we spend a good ten minutes telling each other "HE'S TOTALLY FAKE! HE CAN'T COME AFTER US! DX") thought I meant the Japanese style. In fact, her exact words were around, "Old fashioned, good mannered person." So:

While I actually meant the obvious:

Not that she knew the origins of the term "Lolita" in the first place >_>'

But still, it's the name that's so appealing. Dolores. Pain. Dolly, a variation of a nickname, as well as just Doll. And then Lo and Lolita, iconic from the beginning. Rounded character of a brat, a tease, and yet in the end, just a twelve year old girl. She wasn't an angel, but she sure as hell didn't deserve what happened to her.

Besides, Vladimir Nabokov said he was the reason no one called their daughters Lolita anymore. I...half... subverted that...yeah...not really >_>'

I'd never dress in the style though. I love Lolita clothing, but I could never wear that stuff. It seems too heavy for me Dx.

~ Becky.

P.S: ARGH! I hate formatting for the pictures. It always takes me for-e-ver to get it to fit right Dx...

...and that's what she said.


Beauty, truth?

I find it odd how it's apparently impossible to find beauty in this world unless there's something "divine" behind our very existence.

I can hear it now, I can hear him telling the rest how even though he understands cells and tissues and organs and the chemical composition of everyone, that there has to be something more. Something more that makes us individuals and unique beings that live and breath and love and think.

I'm tempted to (I'm always tempted to say something, it seems, I just never do) ramble on about neuron connections in the brain, the frontal lobe, the peripheral cortex, amygdala, or whatever I can remember from my psychology class that could explain half of the things he's sounding so poetic about. It's almost like that argument I had with some senior girl in art class who was saying, "I can't believe in love anymore." and my response was, "You don't believe in a chemical reaction caused by your brain when you're near someone of your affection? Oh-kay."

It's like the moment someone says "scientific" all people can think of is "cold, calculative, etc." When we look at clouds, the sky, the flowers, an animal in the wild, it's almost taboo to imagine their composition, the chemical bonds, the working features because that's not considered beautiful. What's considered beautiful is our interpretation, the elegance or distinction of the subject. Although that is beautiful, isn't the composition, the bonds, the science behind it just as beautiful?

It's kind of odd how I was thinking about this just in biology class, when we were studying genetic mutations. In one of the slideshows she showed us the picture of an Indian girl, Lakshmi Tatma, who had been born with eight limbs. She paused for a moment to explain that in India they had revered her to be the incarnation of a goddess and was treated as such. The whole class laughed, all while staring in amazement at the picture of the young girl while my teacher went on to describe why it had happened, as well as show us other pictures.

On my way out of class and to my homeroom I realized that believing she was the incarnation of a goddess makes about as much sense as...well, anything Christians here believe, or any other religion for that matter. If she had been born many years ago, in India she would have been praised as a goddess, here she might have been deemed a posses child, etc. But none of it would be true. Her eight limbs weren't the result of a grand deity or evil spirit, they were the result of a parasitic conjoined twin that hadn't actually developed completely. (Which in of itself is incredible).

So if that can be explained and brush aside the idea of a god or goddess causing the girl to have eight limbs, why can't the beginning and the functions of the universe be explained as well? Do we truly need a divine being or beings that started it all?

What has annoyed the most was that a few weeks ago, when we were starting human evolution, my teacher felt the need to say "Disclamer: I'm not telling you God doesn't exist. I'm just saying, from a scientific perspective, that this happened. That's all! It doesn't mean God isn't real."

Uhm...okay? That was bloody necessary. And I can't even blame her, because I know someone, in some class, at some point would have created some B.S because of it.

Gha! I used to like religion, even if it was something I could never make myself attached to, but it seems I'm growing more and more bitter towards it :/

~ Becky.

P.S: I changed my icon so it could be me in the picture o.o' plus I edited a hipster >_>' -shot-

P.P.S: Also, why do I keep signing these posts? It says at the very bottom who's posting it so...yek O.o
"Science and science fiction have done a kind of dance over the last century... The scientists make a finding. It inspires science fiction writers to write about it, and a host of young people read the science fiction and are excited, and inspired to become scientists...which they do, which then feeds again into another generation of science fiction and science..."
- Carl Sagan, in his message to future explorers of Mars.