Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Meanwhile, Down the Road Not Taken...

Quick updates:

1) I've entered in a weird Marilyn Monroe and Akira Kurosawa phase. And no I have no idea how that happened or why they're both together, but lately, I've had an overwhelming urge to watch their movies. From Kurosawa, up until a couple of days ago, I'd only seen two of his films, Seven Samurai and Hidden Fortress. I started watching Rashomon, but didn't finish due to some complications, so I'll finish watching it later and hopefully get to watch some of his other movies. I'm looking forward to Yojimbo. As for Ms.'s weird, but I'd actually never seen her movies, and only a few weeks ago I saw that Netflix had the Seven Year Itch up for instant play and I watched it. It's a little weird to be so enchanted by her, because it's like as I'm watching I know she's acting, and not because she's bad, but because she's so good. I know that underneath the sweetly naive, and seductive persona is Norma Jean Baker, I just can't see her because she won't let me.

2) So...after Ray Bradbury passed away, I found myself thinking about the Earnest Hemingway House and the first time I went there a few years back. Because of that, I started writing a short story. The death of a famous science fiction author saddens an unnamed narrator and her long-distance pen-pal Isaac, and so the day of his death, they decide to meet and explore the house of another writer who died long ago. And they talk. 
45) There's this famous internet literary reviewer (of the Inheritance Cycle, at least) and asexual educator called Swankivy that I'm sure a lot of people know. I'd been following her site and YouTube for a while, and recently have exchanged some emails with her. I've been told time and time again that publishing at a young age is stupid, stupid, stupid because you're a teen and you suck at writing and this is a business, not a cash cow or an easy way to become famous. And I know that's true and I've kept myself from trying to actually publish anything big...and yet after I asked Ivy, she said my age was irrelevant. If I am willing to try it, good enough for an agent, and wrote a great novel, then it's not silly to try and get published. 

What she said was really the most encouraging thing I've ever heard and...well, whether or not things go well with The Legend of Jane the Reaper, I'm still going to try to write Anne's story this summer. It has to be at around 90k words (at least, that's the maximum limit I'm giving myself because of the pressures of first time novelists), and I will rewrite it three to five times, as well as show it to test audiences, then try to query agents throughout senior year. I don't want to speed through it, but at the same time, I want to finally try. If I'm rejected, then great, I'll know I'm not ready and I need to grow more. But I want to stop denying myself the chance of becoming the one thing I've always wanted to be.

5) I've been increasingly detaching myself from people, and not in an alluring, sweetly mysterious way, in a really shitty way. I haven't talked nor do I wish to speak with people from school or in my state for that matter. I haven't had a proper conversation with Carpathia for some time. Jordan noted we've been growing apart, and since I didn't know what to say after she sent me a text with those words , I haven't even responded. Every time I speak with you knw who, I get more angry, and into more fights with him. Not to mention I've been acting like a total idiotic brat to my family. I'm not sure what exactly is prohibiting my ability to openly communicate with those I care for, but it's not going away and it's just my fault. I kind of really suck right now.

And that's the news.

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"Science and science fiction have done a kind of dance over the last century... The scientists make a finding. It inspires science fiction writers to write about it, and a host of young people read the science fiction and are excited, and inspired to become scientists...which they do, which then feeds again into another generation of science fiction and science..."
- Carl Sagan, in his message to future explorers of Mars.