Sunday, August 18, 2013

Beauty in the Grey

Now Playing: Alice Smith - She
I almost never describe faces. I think it should technically be easy because my characters are a constant presence in my head. I can't fall asleep without at least a fleeting thought of what they're doing, what's about to happen to them, or how they're feeling. But I am, sadly, not a very visual person. When reading and writing, I see only vague features/actions, like I'm recollecting a childhood memory rather than watching a movie. When writing, I remember to point out some things. I remember Jacob's hair is a chestnut brown that'll forever be messy (must be in the gene pool because Deirdre's got it too), and that Arkana's got a square jaw while her mother, Beatrice, has a heart shaped face.

But as of lately, even little bits of detail like that haven't popped out in Ataraxia. I remember to describe eye color and that Sonya almost always looks amused. But that's kind of it.

So then comes the weird part. I was clicking through tumblr, procrastinating on some real writing work, when I went to a blog dedicated to Lillian Gish.

I'm kind of ashamed the only movie I've seen of hers was The Birth of a Nation. That said, her photographs always put me in a bit of a trance because she's such a peculiar beauty, like her face alone defines the entirety of the silent film era (though yeah, I know she also did talkies).

And I got to thinking how weird it would be if Rosegrave--my 5'11, vaguely muscular, cocktail-dress-and-combat-boots wearing redheaded serial killer--sort of looked like Lillian Gish.

If it was narrated by Whiskey, my god would she never shut up about it.

Seeing her up close now, without blood and dirt staining her mouth and coloring her cheeks, made me realize how little I knew of this woman. Her past was a mystery to me, a mystery to all of us, and that was to be expected. It was strange, however, to realize her voice, her smile, her features were just as unknown. The police sketches were way off. Her eyes were delicate now that they weren't glimmering with murdering, maddening thrill. Her lips were dark against her white skin and small, so much that they looked slightly pursed. Her face was long, oval shaped. Her auburn red hair flowed down her shoulders, her bangs and wavy locks framing her face. I was tiny and freckled-faced, forever stuck in a juvenile body, but I knew that my features were somehow more mature than Rosegrave's. Hers was a face of delicate innocence that, with a curve of her lips, a tilt of her head, or a raise of her eyebrows, could drift into one of a dangerous seductress.

Okay, sorry >.> Just wanted to get that description out of my head. And it sucks, I know >:( It's not that detailed. Plus I think I almost went down the Lolita route.

But anyways, moving on.

This isn't really a good update. I'm writing an actual one as I begin planning Anne's story and get ready to start fall semester at FSU so I'll post that one later. Just to add a bit more: I've been back in Miami for two weeks. I've dyed the right side of my hair blue, gotten enough catcalls around the city to make me want to start a killing spree, and had a bit of fun at the movies with some old friends last Friday. The Conjuring was fine, but not great. Maybe it's because I haven't seen how bad current horror movies are, but I'm not really understanding the praise the film is getting. Maybe it being slightly above average is a bit of an oddity?

That sounds condescending. I actually really did like the movie, especially because it followed the ghost hunters/mediums/demonologists just as much as the haunted family. Plus it was a necessity that my friends and I act like idiots and laughed/screamed as loudly as possible at whatever minor thing happened in the movie, so that made everything 10x more enjoyable.

I'll be back at FSU by next weekend. I think going for the summer semester was actually a good thing--I'm not plagued by the usual jitters. Especially now that I'll be able to store my stuff with the UPS office whenever I come home via bus (it's that or making my parents drive 7+ hours to pick me up each time). I guess I am nervous about starting a job and who my roommate/suitemates will turn out to be...but I'm hoping for the best.

One thing: Since a lot of kids came back for a brief break after freshman year, summer semester, I saw a lot of posts on the internet talking about how different things are in the hometowns. One girl was surprised at how different she sees things now after living on her own for just a few weeks at her university.

>.> I'm not feeling it. Disappointing turn of events since it's all pretty much the same to me. I got a weird reminder of what it was like to go back to Ecuador last summer after being gone for six or so years. Things were smaller, speaking Spanish 24/7 was a nightmare, and I was more keenly aware of DANGER, but honestly, that stuff seems pretty minor. Everything was familiar and recognizable, and I found that neither I nor the people I'd known as a child had truly changed that much. It was like I'd never been gone.

Maybe I'll get hit with that "oh man this place is so different maybe I've changed so much" when I come home for Christmas. Six weeks is hardly enough room for a radical change, no?

P.S: I think once I finish Ataraxia, I'll switch up the color scheme of this blog. When I was in my steam/clockpunk phase with the Night Kingdom and the early 100 themes version of Enkindled With Chains, the blog had warm undertones. With Ataraxia, I honored the violet planet Irkalla with this little scheme. So when Anne's story begins, I'll change it again.

Granted, I was sort of planning to change the entire blog, but I don't wanna mess it up >> Maybe I'll do it. I'll leave those narcissistic selfies of me up on the side, though, because I like showing off my changing hair :P ...though granted, I am annoyed that I took the pictures of me with my blue hair wearing the same dress as the one on my profile picture o_e

...and here's one more picture of Ms. Gish just because we can.

"Science and science fiction have done a kind of dance over the last century... The scientists make a finding. It inspires science fiction writers to write about it, and a host of young people read the science fiction and are excited, and inspired to become scientists...which they do, which then feeds again into another generation of science fiction and science..."
- Carl Sagan, in his message to future explorers of Mars.