Friday, September 4, 2015

Friday Blog Challenge: Regret

Now Playing: Nine Inch Nails - My Violent Heart

Week 16: Something You Regret Not Doing In The Last Year

I feel like this is a question I need to consider later, because at some point I'm going to phrase it as, "What's something you regret not doing your last year in university?"

I have plenty of regrets, but I have no idea if they're justifiable or not because I haven't gotten enough distance to be certain. I look back and I can't really decide what I would have truly done differently and actually consider the consequences of that choice. Sometimes I wonder if I can categorize all of university--good or bad? Neutral? Necessary? I did learn a lot, but is that enough? What did I really buy? What did my education really give me?

There are good days when I have good answers. There are bad days when I don't even want to think about the whole thing. It's been a bad couple of weeks, so you can probably figure out where my head has been.

I think I said, sometime in the week of May, shortly after I graduated, that I'd write a reflection on my college experience after a few weeks of thinking over it. That I'd write about what I learned, what I liked, whatever. But I feel too drained to do it. That's what it left me as: tired. Mostly with the knowledge that I'm not that into school to begin with. (If I did go back, I'd probably do it to pursue a Library Science masters, but, again, I don't really want to do that right now and don't know if I will in the future--it's just one of a dozen ideas that swirl through my mind).

Maybe if it'd been any other year, I'd have a concrete answer for this question. But university happened, so I really don't. Not yet.

I guess I regret not reading more. And that's like, a perma-regret. I always need to read more. Even if I read 500 books a year, I'd still need to read more.

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