Monday, March 20, 2017

Note (tiny update)

Rum and coke was the first drink I ever had. First few times I tried, it only ever tasted like flat soda. Last night, I discovered that the right kind of rum practically caramelizes coke zero.

I had two drinks after switching off the borefest that was Iron Fist for Arrow. When my head was floating, I got the urge to reread Neuromancer and add a few more paragraphs onto my novel--which is what I did while sitting on Flip's lap.

Today, I remembered I'd left this note to myself midway through the chapter:

sorry future-Becca. Might be kinda drunk. Hence why this doesn’t make much sense

So much for, "write drunk, edit sober."

But see. I added that last bit as if what I'd written was totally worthless. And it's technically not. The writing is bad in a way that a first draft is allowed to be.

But. Yeah. This ain't a first draft. Which is why "write drunk, edit sober" doesn't apply to rewrites. You'd think tipsy me would have remembered that before I started slamming away at the keyboard.

Ugh. When will this rewrite enddddddd.

I'm on chapter 17. Halfway there? Who knows.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Trips and Futures (Updates)

Now Playing: How to Destroy Angels - The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters

Early note: The nickname I was using for my boyfriend, Red, is kinda pointless now that I want to share some pictures of us and my friend Ren at Orlando. So like. His name is Flip. (Well, his nickname is. There's a cute mega-tiny story behind it but it's so silly I shan't share. There's also a short explanation behind Ren's nickname but it's one I never remember).

But yeah--I went to two theme parks this past weekend despite the fact that Flip and I don't exactly have limitless funds. It was not a smart choice, I'll say, but it was fun. There was a concert on Friday for one of Ren's favorite bands, and somewhere between drinking two cranberry vodkas and realizing there was an unexpected screamo band before the main act, several mosh pits broke out. Dimly I remembered hearing about fans who'd died in, like, Smashing Pumpkins concerts due to mosh pits and since I don't have the body mass to slam into people who slam into me, I started kicking and elbowing anyone who hurdled themselves at me.

Never. Again.

Senses Fail was good and the venue was cute. So that was nice.

Opening band.
Second band. (There were three in total before the main show)

Next day was Islands of Adventure. Twas fun. Ren and Flip are apparently aficionados of roller coasters and the closest thing to a roller coaster I've ever come to riding was Splash Mountain when I was twelve at Disney soooo them throwing me into the Hulk was terrifying. And though I can't make myself ever enjoy the initial escalation and first drop of any roller coaster ride, they are soooo fun.

Hulk was great, as was the Harry Potter dragon ride and the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit (which I rode on Sunday at Universal). We rode the Hulk twice, if I'm not mistaken, the dragons twice (one for each dragon, both times front seat), and three times for the Rip Ride Rockit. On that third and final time of the latter, I picked Beastie Boys' Sabotage on one of the playlists. It was synced at the beginning so perfectly.

On that first drop at the Hulk, I discovered roller coasters are far more enjoyable once I realized they're the closest thing I'll ever get to riding a dragon.

Although, like I told Silvia, I think I'm more scared of a roller coaster malfunctioning than I'd be of a dragon accidentally dropping me.

Despite my hair and weird thumb placement, this might be one of my favorite pictures of us.
On the Hippogriff ride.
I know it's not a particularly harsh ride, but it's hard to explain the panic Flip and I felt when Ren pulled her phone out up there.  
She assured us she'd done it a million times before. 
There was no line for this ride because no park-visitor wanted to get soaking wet.
We rode it twice. Then went to ride the Hulk at the end to try and dry off.

I barely got any pictures inside the new King Kong ride because my phone couldn't manage anything decent in the darkness. Despite being told it was a 90 minute wait, we were there for over two hours. Flip was unimpressed by the actual ride, but a dude lunged at him from a hole in the wall before retreating into the darkness, scaring the shit out of everyone within a 5 feet radius, so that made the whole thing worth it.

Also, as fun as 3D rides can be (particularly the Harry Potter ones), it's hard to fight against classic rides like The Mummy. Ren led us in there, also practically had no wait time, and we rode it twice just cuz it was so fun.

When I came back to work that Monday, I had two full carts of books waiting for me to be shelved. Which is what I get for missing one of my scheduled days. (I'd made up the hours, but earlier on the week, which meant I didn't have extra time after to make up for my missing day). I was also sent to another library mid-week for some additional training, so things are piling up again. Ughhh.

Three hours into my shift, I'd barely finished organizing the carts.
This was even after shelving the new books, DVDs, YA novels, and a few large prints.

At training, I got to talking to a lot of the librarians and library assistants. A few seemed impressed that I already had my Bachelor's and gave me some advice on the assumption that I would for sure go to Grad school to become a librarian.

I didn't say I was still considering it, and to be honest, it was a relief that they didn't ask. I hate having to give an answer. It was nice to have them give me a few personal anecdotes of their own profession and what it was like to work in the library system. I can't help but worry that part of my apprehension towards getting a Master's degree isn't just in the money-problem, but I also think maybe it'd mean cementing my roots in Miami permanently. Wasn't the dream to live in another city? The chances of getting work in a different library system are slim, and I've already been selected for this one, even if I'm just starting out and anything can happen.

I don't want to gamble too much with my future. But I've decided on like eighteen different life goals/plans within the past three months, it'll be nice to settle on a particular direction.

I don't know. We'll see how it goes. If I stay, I think I'll be happy. What more could I ask for?

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Disposable Teens

Now Playing: Marilyn Manson - Killing Strangers 

After I mentioned it on my last post, I AGAIN toyed with the idea that I could rename Death Awakens and reference a Marilyn Manson song. Except this time it'd be into Disposable Teens.

Thematically it fits better but I wasn't sure because it's not my favorite Manson song and seemed a little too obvious. (Is that dumb? Probz. I do like it well enough, but I really, really want to reference The Pale Emperor).

Then yesterday I was looking up some videos regarding the Columbine Shooting and I came across an interview Manson did where he talked about how easy it was for the public and the press to blame him for that kind of event. It got to a point where after Columbine he estimated he'd been blamed for around 36 different shootings. 

And like. 

Motherfuck. Now I'd feel bad if my book was just another, "devil's music linked to violent teens!" narrative perpetuated by the public and the media. I don't know if I'd reference the band in the book, but if I do, even if just in the title, it might not be as neutral towards Manson and us fans as I'd wish. 

Dammit. And here I just wanted my witches to have good taste in music. 

Friday, March 3, 2017


Now Playing
  • The Neighbourhood - A Little Death
  • Marilyn Manson - Cupid Carries A Gun

Few thoughts related to my death-centric stories:

1) After titling that other post Fated, Faithful, Fatal, I've been toying around with the idea of outright renaming Death Awakens after that song. But like. Is that . . . legal? Or advisable?

I read on Wikipedia that the Red Hot Chili Peppers sued Californication because they'd never given any sort of permission for the show to use the word and it was causing an unwilling connection (and therefore confusion) between their hit-song/album and the show. (Or something. I'm butchering it. The wiki quotes the full argument but I think that's the gist of it).

But the network and creators were all, "Uh, you didn't create the word 'californication' and you didn't register a trademark. We weren't even thinking of you when we named the show this. So fight me *fisty cuffs.*"

(again, paraphrasing here).

My dilemma is different but I keep thinking I'd be in the clear because I've been seeing a book at the library titled Paint it Black; no one is gonna be dumb enough to bend over backwards and try to argue Janet Fitch wasn't thinking of the Rolling Stones when she titled her novel. And just looking at Goodreads, it ain't even an uncommon title.

But it's not like I'm naming the book The Beautiful People or Disposable Teens so--

Hold up.

Holy fuck that's a good title.

Wait, okay. Sorry: it's not like I'm naming the book after a popular band's hit-song. Fated, Faithful, Fatal only appears in the deluxe edition of "The Pale Emperor" and is the acoustic version of another song on the album called The Mephistopheles of Los Angeles. Both versions are amazing and helped inspire one of the scenes I've been visualizing, but only the former would make any bit of sense as a title. So like. Is it worse that it's a little less known? Does it not matter? If Manson ever heard about it (which I doubt, but, shhh), would he be all, "...can you not?"

I'll just cry endlessly if I'm ever in a position where one of my favorite musicians slaps me with a lawsuit.

Guess that's a question for a literary agent. Uh. You know, if I get there. I'll probably think of another title by then.

I should probably start the stupid book before I worry about this >_>

. . . I need to look something up.

Crap. I am both relieved and sad no one's used "Disposable Teens" as a title. Although now I'm finding out that's not to Marilyn Manson what Paint it Black is to the Rolling Stones. The Beautiful People was more accurate.

I don't know music charts >:(

2) I've been going to Coral Gables on my free days to write at the Books & Books cafe and I've made significant progress on Millennium Girl. However, I noticed I haven't been utilizing the first draft all that much.

I guess because I have all major plot points memorized and the writing/voices of the first draft is super rough so it hurts to look at it.

But not everything is trash. I've been hesitant to go back and reread it to aid my current rewrite, but some bits of dialogue and passages can survive the next few drafts, me thinks. It's not like I got all the voices wrong.

So that's my goal right now: quit shunning the atrocity that is the first draft. If it truly was trash, I wouldn't be here in the first place.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Three Little Words

Now Playing: Highly Suspect - Bloodfeather

I'm so amused.

I hadn't checked Rainbow Rowell's website ever since I read Eleanor & Park on my second year of college, so I hadn't noticed she'd answered a question pertaining to the ending of the book.

Spoilers hereafter.

Well, actually, she spends a good chunk of the F.A.Q. avoiding the question, and her avoidance-answers are so amusing.

I'm of the opinion that there's no point asking an author a question like that because if they'd wanted to tell you something that's been omitted from the book, then it would have been in the book in the first place. (The one exception is probably when the great hand of the editor slaps you in the face for your insolence and removes shit for you but, uh, I don't know how common that is? I figured editors and writers just eventually learn to agree on things. For the most part.)

As a fellow writer, the final lines are kind of genius because of the possibilities. As purely a reader, it's fun to guess something positive, given Park's uplifting response to it:
  • I love you.
    • (Get the obvious one out of the way)
  • I miss you.
  • I am okay.
  • I'm better now.
  • I'm still alive.
  • Wait for me.
  • I'm still here.
  • I'll find you.
  • See you soon.
  • Come see me.
  • Come find me.
  • Be there soon.

Genius, right?
"Science and science fiction have done a kind of dance over the last century... The scientists make a finding. It inspires science fiction writers to write about it, and a host of young people read the science fiction and are excited, and inspired to become scientists...which they do, which then feeds again into another generation of science fiction and science..."
- Carl Sagan, in his message to future explorers of Mars.